When obsessions turn funny!

With the Scientist being incredibly busy these last few days, I have been missing out on my gym time. Sure I try to do an exercise video or some yoga at home, but still gym time is sacred you see?

 

Imagine the Scientist's amusement, when I woke up in the middle of the night and asked him what time he was going to leave for work ( he was still working at that hour). "I don't know", he replied. "Why?" " I'll go to the gym and come back", I said and scrambled out of bed. The Scientist held my hand back and told me" But its only 2.15. You are so guilty is it?" I'm sure he had a good laugh.

 

Really sometimes not going to the gym eats up my conscience so much that the only thought in my head as I hit the sack is that I must go to the gym the next morning :)

 

And heres another:

 

Chittu was asleep till 8.30 in the morning. I was heard telling him that I finish my gym business by 7 every morning so that I get a good two hours with him. I'd go even earlier,  but the gym only opens at 5.30. Really?? Yes. If only I had a 24-hr gym!!!

 

These are the good days. There are also the days when I turn off the alarm and cuddle next to Chittu or the Husband. Those two are always warm. I'm the one who is cold perpetually!! Some days there are excuses for no gym, some days I promise I'll do something active later, somedays I'm mad at the scale, somedays something is hurting... but yes there are many many days when I haul my sleepy self out of the sleeping house and go for a run/ to the gym. And believe me, only getting out is difficult, the rest as they say is history!

A thinking weekend - the weight loss obsession takes a new turn!

Warning - long post ahead.

 

A weekend with lots of thinking, indeed.

 

So yes I saw the enocrinologist on Friday evening. I have to admit that I was very nervous, as I usually am before every doctor's visit because I fear that he/she is going to make a snide comments about my weight and attribute every health complaint I have to it.

 

As is required, I stepped on the weighing scale, and saw 80. Darn it.

 

I told him, I run about 20 kms a week, watch what I eat, and still am not losing weight. Hah he said, "do you think all fat people are lazy? Losing weight is not easy. And don't overexercise, if you do, your bones and muscles will get heavy and you will gain weight, not lose!" Whoa!!! Now did I have a new worry? And he continues, " Exercise moderately, eat moderately and stay happy. Look at it this way - You were 100, 94, 83 and now 80. The trend is certainly downward. Plan your next baby!"

 

"Haha!, I said, not until I lose the last 10". By the time I walked out of his office, I was not sure what my response was. I was simultaneously angry, happy and irritated. Does that happen to anyone?

 

 So, the Scientist and I had dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant, where I realised, my ways of eating have definitely changed. The old me, would scourge the menu for the dish with the highest amount of cheese. That day, I tried to find what I liked, included a soup because I know it fills me up, said no to the complimentary handcrafted bread, ate in moderation, decided the desert menu did not hold anything interesting for me, went with the Scientist to an ice cream shop, watched him order strawberries and cream, took only a couple of spoons and was done for the day!!!

 

Whoa,that is a totally different me. No icecream? And dessert was not interesting enough? Well, I decided that if was so in control of the food, then I certainly would make progress on the weight front. I also decided that I was going to trust myself for a few days, and stop with counting the calories, going low carb or high protein or anything. I decided that I would actually eat moderately, exercise moderately and be happy.

 

 I am going to try and restain from hopping on the scale every day. I decided I will possibly weigh in weekly and just keep the numbers to myself, in a private diary until I hit important milestones - like going below 75, 72, 70 and finally reaching goal weight. Well, I am not saying that this is how it is going to be. But I am going to try and stop obsessing over weight loss, and rather try and actually make it feel like a natural side effect of being in control of what I eat, achieving my running goals and staying fit and happy. I am also toying with the idea that I am not really going to ban any specific food/ food group, but make it a part of my life because, whether I like it or not, I do love sweet stuff.

 

So that's what I figured out this weekend. I will still be posting my work outs, my attempt at training for a half marathon, possibly even my experiments with cooking and certainly weight loss, whenever I cross that important milestone. Posting my weight here everyday began to pressurise me to perform and not let you guys down! But hey!! I just realised my body has its own way of dealing with stuff, and lesser calories and more exercise does not necessarily equal to weight  loss for me. I will also post more about other stuff - being a working mom,  life, what I love and other things. I guess the weight loss obsession has taken a differnt turn and hopefully for the good.

Am I obsessed with weight loss?

Does that sound tacky?

But, yes. I am obsessed with weight loss. Thinking about it every second of the day is what makes me do little things that make a difference:

1. like getting my butt up from my swivel chair at work to reach for a file/papers rather than just you know, swivel around

2. drink more water than I used to ( I would sometimes go the whole day with just a few sips of water, as against these days when I target to drink 2 litres or more of water. I gulped down some as I typed this)

3. quicken my pace while walking

4. take the stairs instead of the lift. I have begun to do it all the time now, when I don’t have the toddler to carry.

5. feel more conscious to my body, observe various muscles etc.

When I started this post out, I intended that it should not be another weight loss related post. But, there you go. Damage is done. But some time soon, I will write about other stuff as well. I have got a good life going, you see.

What is your obsession? Leave me a line.