A thinking weekend - the weight loss obsession takes a new turn!

Warning - long post ahead.

 

A weekend with lots of thinking, indeed.

 

So yes I saw the enocrinologist on Friday evening. I have to admit that I was very nervous, as I usually am before every doctor's visit because I fear that he/she is going to make a snide comments about my weight and attribute every health complaint I have to it.

 

As is required, I stepped on the weighing scale, and saw 80. Darn it.

 

I told him, I run about 20 kms a week, watch what I eat, and still am not losing weight. Hah he said, "do you think all fat people are lazy? Losing weight is not easy. And don't overexercise, if you do, your bones and muscles will get heavy and you will gain weight, not lose!" Whoa!!! Now did I have a new worry? And he continues, " Exercise moderately, eat moderately and stay happy. Look at it this way - You were 100, 94, 83 and now 80. The trend is certainly downward. Plan your next baby!"

 

"Haha!, I said, not until I lose the last 10". By the time I walked out of his office, I was not sure what my response was. I was simultaneously angry, happy and irritated. Does that happen to anyone?

 

 So, the Scientist and I had dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant, where I realised, my ways of eating have definitely changed. The old me, would scourge the menu for the dish with the highest amount of cheese. That day, I tried to find what I liked, included a soup because I know it fills me up, said no to the complimentary handcrafted bread, ate in moderation, decided the desert menu did not hold anything interesting for me, went with the Scientist to an ice cream shop, watched him order strawberries and cream, took only a couple of spoons and was done for the day!!!

 

Whoa,that is a totally different me. No icecream? And dessert was not interesting enough? Well, I decided that if was so in control of the food, then I certainly would make progress on the weight front. I also decided that I was going to trust myself for a few days, and stop with counting the calories, going low carb or high protein or anything. I decided that I would actually eat moderately, exercise moderately and be happy.

 

 I am going to try and restain from hopping on the scale every day. I decided I will possibly weigh in weekly and just keep the numbers to myself, in a private diary until I hit important milestones - like going below 75, 72, 70 and finally reaching goal weight. Well, I am not saying that this is how it is going to be. But I am going to try and stop obsessing over weight loss, and rather try and actually make it feel like a natural side effect of being in control of what I eat, achieving my running goals and staying fit and happy. I am also toying with the idea that I am not really going to ban any specific food/ food group, but make it a part of my life because, whether I like it or not, I do love sweet stuff.

 

So that's what I figured out this weekend. I will still be posting my work outs, my attempt at training for a half marathon, possibly even my experiments with cooking and certainly weight loss, whenever I cross that important milestone. Posting my weight here everyday began to pressurise me to perform and not let you guys down! But hey!! I just realised my body has its own way of dealing with stuff, and lesser calories and more exercise does not necessarily equal to weight  loss for me. I will also post more about other stuff - being a working mom,  life, what I love and other things. I guess the weight loss obsession has taken a differnt turn and hopefully for the good.

How come I gained weight? And other updates

Hey guys!

Updates on the challenge:

 

• Food-wise, I've been staying put at 1500 calories. Yes may be a bit of sugar and carbs could be broght down, but that's what I have been doing.
• Exercise-wise, I worked out 5 days of last week, and this week's workouts are going alright too, except for the fact that I just could not run yesterday and had to walk 5k.
• Weight wise - I saw a figure as low as 76.8 last week. This morning I saw 78.5. I know I cannot gain 2kg of fat from my food. But still the figure just bothers me!

I bit the bullet and have given my blood for a thyroid test. If that comes out fine too, I will have to figure out what else to change and how my weight dipped to 76.8 and crept back up to 78.5. It might be excess oil in the food or more sugar than I think. As I said earlier, I might have to go to a nutritionist. Right now, my only wish is that there is something wrong with my Thyroid function and that Thyroid medication will put me back on the wagon.

 

Needless to say, I feel extremely bogged down by my efforts and results. But yes I am feeling extremely objective because finally I am willing to do whatever it takes to get rid of the final 10kgs.

 

The test results should be in this evening. We shall see :)

 

How are you guys doing?

Edited to add: My thyroid tests came out just fine. So I dont know how I gained 3 kgs in a week after 1500 calories per day and faithful exercise. I weighed in at 79.5 kgs this morning.

Speaking my mind

Last night, after eating my dinner, I was on the verge of tears. This weight loss thing has been getting to me. I have been holding around 79.5 for a LONG time now, atleast two months, since I got back from the US. I did touch the 78s early on in October. But I have come back to the 79s again. Yes I admit I went through a phase of mid-night mysore pak eating. But that lasted a week or so and I have been working out pretty hard. I dont even expect to lose a pound a week. But I was hoping that I'be back to my pre-US weight (around 77) in atleast two months.

 

I fished out my old tracking diary and saw that I am around the same weight I was in June. Four months later, I am in the same stage (ofcourse I gained 4 and lost 2) and I feel so so bad about myself.  I had a personal trainer in June, stuck to around 1500 calories per day and did see the scale move down. I might be doing a similar thing this month too, and even though I vowed to do go back to Phase 1 SBD, I figured that at 1 meal in a day is not exactly SBD compliant. My main fear is that I would not want to faint or pass out during the 12.5 k on Sunday. The other reason is that I continue to eat healthy though I take about half a cup of white rice at my meal or a couple of idlis or broken wheat and such stuff. I don't think that is bad per se. And sparkpeople shows me a lower car consumption than before. I guess I will just have to be consistent and see if there is any progress.

 

The Scientist alsosuggested that I get my thyroid checked to ensure that there is no other obstacle that is making it hard for me. I will do that soon too. Meanwhile, I want to just close my eyes and be 12 kgs lighter when I open them.

 

I know I have to swallow the pill of patience and just keep at what I am doing. Ofcourse, I continue to marvel at my body's ability to run even at this weight. I'm terribly sorry about the ranty post. I just had to tell you guys two things. Firstly that my SBD attempt is only partial and Second that I am so so surprised by how difficult it has actually become to get rid of this weight!

 

TGIF, an exercise question, my sweet tooth and running mileage!

Of late, I find myself pining for the weekend. I think its the prospect of not staring at the computer/ legal documents for eight hours that makes the prospect of the weekend so very attractive. Understandable, is it not?

 

And also, I've been having a question that is really bugging me. I think its official that I'm addicted to working out. I've been feeling pretty disturbed on days I choose to skip it. But tell me ladies, do you go for your workout on "those days of the month"? What I do is usually not a constant. I go if I feel up to it and skip if I don't. But sometimes I am confused if I did not go because I was not feeling good or if I was feeling plain old lazy. Do let me know what your approach to the subject is.

 

So, I guess I am back in the grind and doing my best in the weight loss department. My days are far from perfect and I do eat sugar, though I stay within my calorie limit for the day. I have a sweet tooth ad usually crave for a little comething sweet after my meal. I usually indulge in a piece of chikki or sweet made of dates and dry fruit ( that I buy at Namdhari, Bangalore) or sugar free mint. I have run out of sugar free mint so its mostly the former two these days. Also on days I have a light dinner of a soup, I end up feeling hungry, late night. So I have some hot chocolate with cocoa powder (that has no sugar in it) and a teaspoon of sugar. That way I get comfort food & chocolate fix but with a self controlled amount of sugar. On days I feel tired or drained out I opt for a glass of horlicks in case I have an intense workout planned the next morning and have gone grain free for dinner.

 

Anyway just thought I'd update this space before I disappear for the weekend. I will begin with a yoga class this evening, followed by a long run tomorrow ( am thinking of of 8 km run to bring up this weeks mileage to 20k - really I can't still believe this is the same old me) and dance class on Sunday after a very long break.

 

What are your plans dear reader? And do help me answer the question I asked in this post.

 

Happy weekend, you all!

 

 

 

Joining the gym, exercise timings & a general wellness update

Yes I did it! The decision to join the gym was more the Scientist’s than mine. Sometimes, only sometimes, it feels good when someone else decides, and you just have to chug along. So, yes I am a part of a very plush, expensive gymnasium. I have done three days at the gym this week, one was a power yoga group class, which totally rocked! And the other two times, I have been pretty much on my own, sticking to the treadmill and elliptical. I shall have to wait for the physio session, which is tomorrow to get done, so that I will have a structured work out, everyday.

My intention is to do the group class – being either yoga or pilates two days of the week and do the other stuff which will be recommended the other four. Sounds good. No?

The last couple of days, I have felt extreme tiredness. Yesterday I was dying to crash into bed, by afternoon. I figured, may be I just did not give my body enough food. So yesterday, I ate. PELNTY OF CARBS – white rice, rotis, dinner at a Chinese restaurant and had a good night’s sleep. Guess what, I went to the gym at 6 a.m. this morning, even before the sun was up. I am feeling great right now! 

I think I have decided on my workout time, which least interferes with Chittu time, or cooking or work, or socializing or whatever else. The plan is to hit the gym by 6.a.m. Chittu sleeps late into the mornings now a days, and I think will also be able to get Maami to help me with cutting the veggies and get the cooker job done, by the time I return from the gym.

The day before yesterday, was another restaurant dinner. Both dinners did not include dessert. My weight this morning read 83.4. I really have to get my thyroid checked. I am trying not to feel too bogged down by the weight gain/being stuck at the same weight again. But it is hard. I know I’m being good on the food, and very dutiful about the exercise. Things should look up soon, and as always I will keep the updates coming.