Monday, January 7, 2013

A thinking weekend - the weight loss obsession takes a new turn!

Warning - long post ahead.
 
A weekend with lots of thinking, indeed.
 
So yes I saw the enocrinologist on Friday evening. I have to admit that I was very nervous, as I usually am before every doctor's visit because I fear that he/she is going to make a snide comments about my weight and attribute every health complaint I have to it.
 
As is required, I stepped on the weighing scale, and saw 80. Darn it.
 
I told him, I run about 20 kms a week, watch what I eat, and still am not losing weight. Hah he said, "do you think all fat people are lazy? Losing weight is not easy. And don't overexercise, if you do, your bones and muscles will get heavy and you will gain weight, not lose!" Whoa!!! Now did I have a new worry? And he continues, " Exercise moderately, eat moderately and stay happy. Look at it this way - You were 100, 94, 83 and now 80. The trend is certainly downward. Plan your next baby!"
 
"Haha!, I said, not until I lose the last 10". By the time I walked out of his office, I was not sure what my response was. I was simultaneously angry, happy and irritated. Does that happen to anyone?
 
 So, the Scientist and I had dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant, where I realised, my ways of eating have definitely changed. The old me, would scourge the menu for the dish with the highest amount of cheese. That day, I tried to find what I liked, included a soup because I know it fills me up, said no to the complimentary handcrafted bread, ate in moderation, decided the desert menu did not hold anything interesting for me, went with the Scientist to an ice cream shop, watched him order strawberries and cream, took only a couple of spoons and was done for the day!!!
 
Whoa,that is a totally different me. No icecream? And dessert was not interesting enough? Well, I decided that if was so in control of the food, then I certainly would make progress on the weight front. I also decided that I was going to trust myself for a few days, and stop with counting the calories, going low carb or high protein or anything. I decided that I would actually eat moderately, exercise moderately and be happy.
 
 I am going to try and restain from hopping on the scale every day. I decided I will possibly weigh in weekly and just keep the numbers to myself, in a private diary until I hit important milestones - like going below 75, 72, 70 and finally reaching goal weight. Well, I am not saying that this is how it is going to be. But I am going to try and stop obsessing over weight loss, and rather try and actually make it feel like a natural side effect of being in control of what I eat, achieving my running goals and staying fit and happy. I am also toying with the idea that I am not really going to ban any specific food/ food group, but make it a part of my life because, whether I like it or not, I do love sweet stuff.
 
So that's what I figured out this weekend. I will still be posting my work outs, my attempt at training for a half marathon, possibly even my experiments with cooking and certainly weight loss, whenever I cross that important milestone. Posting my weight here everyday began to pressurise me to perform and not let you guys down! But hey!! I just realised my body has its own way of dealing with stuff, and lesser calories and more exercise does not necessarily equal to weight  loss for me. I will also post more about other stuff - being a working mom,  life, what I love and other things. I guess the weight loss obsession has taken a differnt turn and hopefully for the good.

19 comments:

  1. I really loved this post of urs..So much of energy n give me a smile on monday morning :)

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    1. thanks!!!yes I am feeling the positive energy forces, myself :)

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  2. Yay !! A happy post...! Will watch out for some good recipes from you now :)

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  3. I was worried after reading your last post on "popping pills". I am happy for you after reading this. As the doc said you have surely have to be happy you are now a runner, a person who has inspired people to take up this weight loss journey and being fit, who is in control of her food intake. All this didnt come so easily (every post is like a battle against the fat) you have fought bravely and survived it. So cheerup girl and continue inspiring through your blogs.

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    1. Gowri, thanks for the concern and support. Yes I know I have come far, but my weight is not really a good number. While I know that, I am just shifting the focus to the eating better and enjoying my workouts even though I am going to try to continue to lose weight!

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  4. That's my girl! Have I not been saying the same thing like forever? There is something called comfortable weight and however you might try you body won't budge below that...I mean what the heck even I wud want to be 45 again but I know my body won't humor me...so am happy to settle at 55 at least I lost 12 kgs :)

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    1. Smita, you are so right!! Sometimes one has to just go through the process and come to a mature understanding. I guess the process becaomes more profound than the understanding!
      That said, I ain't giving up aiming to be 67 kgs. IEven though for my height, my ideal weight would be far lower I chose 67 as my goal weight so as to cut myselfsome slack. 77 kgs is not a great place to be and not a proud number to share! However, aomewhere along I stopped enjoying and started obsessing. I think I just broke free of that obsession and will try to go back to enjoying being fit, getting fitter and eating good!

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  5. Dear Sugar,

    Good that you saw the endocrinologist. Just wanted to share my point of view. I do tend to agree with your doctor.

    Recently, I got a nike training program and for every 2 moves they make you rest. Some how I figured out that resting is of key importance. I have been into excessive training myself and there was a point when the weight stopped moving down. I then realized that if I train hard my appetite also increase. Somehow I think moderation is the key :).

    Love your attitude and never say quit spirit.

    Lots of love

    regards

    fatchicgoesslim

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    1. :) thanks Shiva! its easy to overdo anything, I guess!!!

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  6. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote
    the book in it or something. I think that you
    can do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog.
    An excellent read. I will definitely be back.
    My blog :: fitness tips to you

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  7. You know Sugar, I have been struggling with eating too less calories and working my body too much right from the time I was a Aerobics Instructors some 10-12 years ago-while at time my body did great-its now when I am nearing 40 its just not budging,it won't loose the weight-I have done all I can lateely and am struggling-all I can do is eat healthy and exercise Moderate as your doc so rightly says-SO I am with you on this ONE !Good Luck

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    1. wow!!! the body has its own way of responding, is it not? i guess this one of the main things I have learnt on this journey :)

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  8. I am all for not weighing in every day. Give it ample time and for now enjoy your current accomplishments. I am sure there are tons of women out there, including me, who will take 80 happily with the kind of fitness level you have reached.

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    1. haha :) I know, you are right. Honestly I have had a slow weight loss journey. But now I want to see some results!! The scale is just addictive?

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  9. Wow! Great Sugar... Atleast u now know that there is nothing wrong with your body...n u r healthy! And I know u will get there... Shedding 20 odd kgs is never easy n u did - u never gave up... so naturally, later if not sooner, u will be there... :-)
    Vouching for u! All the best dear... :-)

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    1. Yes gavz you are so right! I just had to learn it the hard way, I guess :)

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