On whats kept me busy

Now that my life has more indications of some kind of sanity, I figured this would be a good time to pop in, say hi and find out if anyone stills reads this space :)

Basically, my life has been defined by the word "change" these last two months. I quit a plum PSU job to join an NGO and further my desire of contributing something back to the society I took from :).  I am still grappling with the realities of the decision and while I cannot say that all is perfect, I certainly do not regret my decision.

Meanwhile we also got our home renovated and moved in to a new home. Its a good feeling to have got this thing done with by this age in life. But our financial status has become so precarious, that we are having some stressful times on that front. 

New home meant a new school for Chittu. And that means new routines and new needs. Settling into it all was also quite a process. To add to the mess, Maami- my full time house help went down with some sort of Pox and was off for nearly two months. Though it was a great relief to not have her in our face ALL the time, it was difficult for us to manage a newly constructed house with the dust still settling, a million house works pending, a toddler and our respective jobs. I have to admit, that with her return, things have got much more saner!!!

In the midst of this madness, I ran the Kaveri Half. I still cannot believe I did it.But at another level I feel like a faker, because I walked so much of the course, I feel like I hardly ran. Still at the sight of the finish line, I was grateful that it was finally over. I felt like I had pushed to my maximum ability and my legs and feet were begging for mercy!!! At one point of time during the course, I promised myself that I'd never embark on such lofty targets ever again!!! Funny that I am waiting for the Auroville registrations to open, to register for the half :) Running does amazing things to the body and mind.

Between the Kaveri Trail till today, I have run only thrice, done some kind of yoga some days, but have mostly stayed off the gym. I am yet to shift my membership to the gym closer home. However, as if to compensate, work got so hectic that I have not had the time to think of food even though I was hungry. No complaints there cos I do love my work that much! On the food side, I have tried my best to be mindful. Our poor financial status also means no more(far lesser) restaurant meals and a LOT of house work!

In the shifting process, I may have damaged my weighing scale. May be I should buy new batteries to verify. People seeing me after long have told me that I have lost a lot of weight. My clothes however fit the same and I'm hoping that no exercise after heavy duty half marathon training has not resulted in tipping the scales yet again.

Proper exercise resumed yesterday with a 5.5k run in my new neighbourhood and a Jillian Micheals yoga workout this morning. Whats up with you guys, I hardly see any updates???

Forgetting April and moving on!

Phew!!! Am I glad April is over?

 

Even before April started, I knew that it could bring on a whole lot of crap. Though I wished that only good news will come, thre was a fear churning at the back of my head. April is the month promotions at work are announced and I did not make it! I have long been due for a upgrade, but missed it for one or other reason attributed by my management. Don't get me wrong, I do not work in an environment where reward and quality of work are directly propotional. Often its only a matter of number of years of service and some times really bad luck like a change of policy. To put it in a nut shell, I have time and again lost my promotion thanks to being on leave a whole year after Chittu was born. No I am not blaming him. Neither am I saying it was a bad decision cos only I know that I was so tattered (both physically & mentally) after Chittu's birth, that I really did need a long time and the joy of a baby to reallign me to the real world!

 

The whole thing was badly timed, maybe and as a result I missed a whole assessment year that I am paying for even now!Looking at the bright side, I can sure say that I was lucky to still have a secure job waiting for me after a whole year's break! But I was so angry this time around that I retreated into this shell, where I blamed my poor judgement for taking this kind of a job and not take up professional practise with my skill set, especially! I also blamed my lack of planning. Then I was so mad at the fact that living in an office owned apartment tied me down from resigning my job immeditaely, and the fact that I will have to wait a while before we can move out of this house into another one!

 

On the weight loss front, I thought the anxiety I was going through will help me lose some weight! But no! I developed pains in my hip joints, my knees, had shin splits, terrible stomach ulcer problems and just wanted to hibernate. I was annoyed at having Maami in the house ALL the time, Chittu being attached to her as if she were his mother, not being able to run the way I used to, Chittu being so possessive about his friend- our neighbour that he would not let that kid go home after after play in the evening- the pressure of having a second baby is staring down at me and not losing ANY weight and staying stuck at 77.5 just simply annoys me like crazy.

 

I still am stuck by the way.I think I have been stuck for the last year almost!!! There's little I can do in that regard except what I am already doing and I guess I will have to leave it at that! I have left that month behind me and am basically clueless about what I ought be doing. Its not that I am unhappy. I am just extremely stressed out personally and professionally. I promise I'm working on it. So things should be ok again. I am going to continue eating well and exercising (because thats second nature to me:) dare I say) and you dear reader, will definitely see more updates on that!!!

 

I'll see in you guys in a soon happier post :)

 

Before the race in images :)

I will be running in less than 12 hours from now.

The Scientist and Chittu have taken off to Chennai for a wedding. I will finish up my race and then join them. After packing them both into an auto to the railway station, I got back home and did some packing for the wedding. I chose the sarees, I might want to wear. Always better to have a choice, you know:

I only recently got my saree blouses tailored. I have been waiting for ever to lose weight and then stitch. I am pretty excited for an opportunity to wear them :)

And then I was ruminating through some photographs from the past - like the baby shower ceremony during my 7th month pf pregnancy. I looked hideous. Huge. Humungous. I really wonder, if I never looked into the mirror or something. I am so glad I look this way now:

It has been worth every effort I put in, really.

And then I ate some reeses buter cups - 2 for my evening snack.

The Scientist called the say they were doing good :). Relief:

And then I took a long long walk. To ease the stiffness I had been feeling. My running clothes are ready:

I will drink enough water, set the alarm and hit the bed.

Wish me luck guys, I should be back with an race recap on Tuesday!!!

Have you ever missed a flight, ever?

For memories sake and for the record.

This is a narration of how The Scientist, Chittu and I  almost missied our flight from Delhi to Bangalore after this trip.

 

We were to fly back from Dilli on a Monday morning by the 7.15 flight. That would mean we'd be in Bangalore by 9.45 and possibly in office getting back to full time seat warming by about 11, which is a decent hour. That would mean the Scienst would take off to office from the airport and Chittu and I would take off in the opposite direction and run for our lives. Well, not really. Since my office is like 10 miutes from home, obviously I'm expected to do such things as attend when the washing machine repair man  comes, when the insurance guy turns up an entire two days later than his promised time, when the gas cylinder has run out and when there is more than one mosquito in the house. Well, you get the point, no?

 

Oops I digressed. So coming back - the flight was advanced by 45 minutes bacause of the air show at Bangalore. All flights were to land at/ take off from Bangalore before 9 a.m. or after 6 pm during that one week of the air show. So we thought when we heard the flight was advanced - we could get back to the said seat warming an hour earlier, maybe?

 

The alarm was set for 4.30 a.m. The Scientist calculated that half hour would be sufficient time for him to shower and get ready, haul our heavy suitacses down three floors, pack into the car and reach the airport in about 10 minutes. Where was I in the picture? I was expected to not shower! I did not think that was a material part of time planning and nodded my head when the Scientist elaborated said time plans. Good I said. We were expecting to reach the airport by 5.45 a.m within the one hour time line.

 

So we woke with the alarm. The Scientist showered and so did I. We got the sleepy toddler ready. We won the case of "I shall not wear diaper. Or socks. Or shoes". It was 5.30 already. We picked up all luggage and toddler. And piled into the car. And left a bag behind. My friend, our kind host went back up three floors and collected said bag. And came back down. She was to drive. Ideally the story should have ended here.

 

My friend's driving may warrant a seperate post altogether. So I shall suffice to say she drove very slow. Very very slow actually and we were at the airport by 6.10 a.m. Only. Departure was at 6.45. The Jet Airways guy took our ticket print out, checked us in and the told us we were late." Too late, Sir.Gates close 45 minutes before departure." If it had been the era when the Gods actually walked the planet and my husband was Pati Parmeshwar, and had the third eye, his dirty looks would have turned me to ashes right there.

 

But he said to me - Do not talk. You had to pay a price for bad time discipline and this is it. " Please go to the ticketing counter, Sir. We can't help you."

 

So we ran- baby, bag and all. Explained we missed our flight. Flight was advanced. We have a baby. "Next flight is at 6.30 p.m, Sir.I will check for availability...Tickets are available Sir and you will have to pay a penalty of Rs.10000/-..."

 

"Ermmm... we missed our flight. You can't charge us full fare. Please help us..", I added, using the lady advantage trying to look as helpless as possible. "

 

" Please contact the manager Sir. " Finger was pointed towards a woman sitting at the far end of the check in counter. We did the the baby-bag-dash once again. The manager looked up at us from her computer screen. Yes Sir she said unhurriedly. We missed the flight, we said handing out our ticket print out.

 

"But passengers are already checked in ..." She exclaimed to another check in staff after typing something into the keyboard . "Get them on the flight." And then to us " But your luggage may only reach on the next flight".

 

Whatever, the Scientist sprinted towards Secrurity check, cleared it and sprinted right through till the boarding gate. I was carrying the toddler and some hand baggage and no in case someone's thinking, all my running practise did not really help. I could not run with the toddler fixated to my waist still refusing to wear the diaper. We were then bundled into a buggy. I jumped off on the wrong boarding gate. Was chided for doing that and was asked to remain seated until instructed. I was wondering and worrying if the Scientist actually made it or was still left behing trying to find me.

 

 And then we were finally reunited at the boarding gate :) Whew!!!What a morning Were panting, sweating and celebrating to be on the flight. Afterall, we would be getting back to seat warming business very soon :)

 

Side notes: 1. This was possible only in India. From my experience, in the US you have to like keep a whole day aside for security and preferably walk through the security check naked.

 

2. My friend is an awesome friend. A very nice person. Just a very bad driver!

 

3. Hopefully the Scientist now knows that I will shower even if we are leaving thehouse at 3 a.m. I have sufficiently/satisfactorily demonstrated my standard of cleanliness.

 

4. As for time discipline, I hope Chittu co-operates better in the future :)

 

 

The weekend!

Friday!

Why do I feel I like spend every day of the week waiting for Friday? Was life always like this or has it become so lately?

I look forward to just unwinding during the weekends. it is a great relief to me that meals need not necessarily be ready at a specific time, that I can have a few cuddly minutes with  the toddler, some tantrums with the Scientist just to annoy him, a few moments to stretch my achy limbs at the gym or after a run, an easy paced long run without having the 9 a.m. panic deadline in mind!

I love to read a book cuddled up on the sofa and fall asleep reading, a mug of hot chai with conversation about where we got that mug from, an unhurried walk holding hands with the Scientist, cooking two or three dishes for lunch and some loving compliments :)

Meeting friends, many times the Scientist's friends and wondering when exactly I became an adult, responsible for my own life. Face-timing with the in-laws exchanging notes over whats for breakfast or dinner. Skimming the newspaper for another handi-craft exhibition. The Scientist begging me to go watch a movie with him. The prospect of a kutcheri. Some juicy-juicy gossip - how they met and feel in love? Oh god they were actually living together during their Ph.D? My second cousin, that is.

Sometimes, a million questions - what am I doing? What did I set out to do? Sometimes a silly fight - but you don't say that to her.Sometimes an agreeing discussion. Some good, hearty, healthy love. Sometimes dreams. We must go see Paris, I say. Some intense planning - when the home loan will come through? Second baby? School for Chittu. Some important conversations - when the hell will I learn to drive? Or will he learn to surprise me?

And there its gone, just like that - the weekend, I mean.

Do you guys wait for weekends too? why?



 

Krispe Creme in Bangalore!!!

How many donuts = 7k run this morning?

Guests at home.
Pizza last night.
Late night gossip.
Early morning run.
Donuts for lunch.
Feeling sick from sugar.
Loads of shopping.
Long walking.
Great weekend so far.

Today has been a wierd day. Totally dissatisfying:

• It started when I decided on a 7k this morning. I ran into the breaking dawn. But gave up after 6k. I walked the last 1k home.
• The Scientist forgot to carry his lunch with him. This invariably happens when I am in the shower just as he is leaving.
• I had to decided to drop the toddler off at school today, instead of Maami, and I picked him up, which meant I lost about an hour+ of office time
• The toddler has a runny nose. And these babies don't know how to blow their nose. Ugh!!!
• Lots of other personal stress. Deep breathe. Deep breathe. Deep breathe.
• Work kind of swamped me today. Seriously, I don't know if I can actually take off next week. I returned home from work much later than usual time :(
• The dinner I cooked for myself, turned out so blah!!!I cant seem to cook brown rice non-soggy.I ended up eating a a chappati smothered with ghee, which I made for the toddler, which he refused to eat!
• I ate some random stuff after I came back from office. And I was not even hungry!
• The Scientist is working INSANE hours these days. Like if I wake up in the middle of the night for a pee, he is typing away some code. 
• I am pretty bugged with calorie tracking. And even more with how badly the scales are responding! Really, will I ever see goal weight?

Ok thats all I have in me. I am going to hope that the toddler sleeps decent and that I can wake up bright and early for Pump tomorrow. Can only hope its a better day!

Updates galore!

I have not done a proper post in really really long. I've got many updates, so here goes:

• the toddler started school just over a week ago. He has warmed up pretty well, but cries only if Maami drops him at School. He is totally fine if I drop him,but when Maami goes, he insists that she should go with him inside the class, even though he does his own thing in there!
• That means that I get to office earlier than usual, and go back home to drop him in school. I take an auto to the School and walk back to office. Horray for added exercise!!!
• Being sick for the Chennai marathon was a complete bummer. But I guess it was wise choice to stay back and not travel because I did get pretty sick on Sunday. I was wheezing like a whistle and was getting winded walking inside the house!
• I am still recovering from the wheezing attack and can't admit to feeling 100% fine!
• The good part about being that sick was that the only thing I wanted to eat/drink is hot water or light chai. The task of chewing food left me gasping like I had trekked a mountain.
• I am finding it a little easier to stay within the 1500 calorie range. Less exercise sure makes me less hungry :)
• I ran to body pump today and walked back. I am thinking of continuing this streak the whole of December!
• I am reading a book called "The valley of masks" by Tarun Tejpal. For the first 30-40 pages I could not decide whether I liked it or not. But now I've decided I like the book. Lots of good, quality reading up my sleeve :)
• How are the guys on the challenge doing? I am curious to know!Right now, I'm focussing on getting 100% alright, before I push myself to exercise.

 

Sitting at my desk in office, why am I thinking of rushing home, laying my head on the soft pillow and going off to sleep? Ok may be, head out to the gym in the evening to soothe my thighs with some cardio? Yesterday's body pump after really really long has left my legs so so sore that I cant even flex my thighs when I walk. And climbing down the stairs?? Ugh... its been so bad that I've been taking the elevator even down-stairs! Nothing else to update :)

 

So I might just do what I day dreamed of in para1.

 

Cheers!

Still fat, but fit!

Yayyyy! Body pump after so long!!! This morning, at body pump class, being surrounded by mirrors at my gym studio, I felt like I was looking at a thinner version of myself. My thighs did not look as thunderous although the squats and lunges made them quiver by the end of the class. Right now, that's pretty much my workout schedule: I try to run 2-3 times a week, do 2 body pump classes and one power yoga class on Friday evenings :)

 

While running I have until now, not focussed much on my pace, though I do remain aware of it. I am however from now on going to dedicate one run a week to pacing. My first aim will be to do a sub 40 minute 5k. I will progress thereafter. I do an 8k long run and a 5k shorter one. Some weeks I do manage a 7k too. But sometimes, I get lazy and and hit the cardio section, instead, though my weekly aim is to walk/run 20kms!

 

I got  a mail this morning with my bib number for the Chennai 10k run. My heart is already beating a notch faster. I am nervous because I am going to run in Chennai which is hot and as humid against the cool temperatures of Bangalore. Plus also I tend to get nervous about these things. I am not a natural runner. I used to prefer sitting on the couch with a box of sweets over waking up at 5 a.m to ready the toddlers milk, sometimes even pack the Scientist's lunch by 5.30 and head out for a run or to the gym. Whenever someone sticks a tray of sweets before me, I have a natural tendency to want to grab a handful. I love to eat and used to hate to exercise.

 

The only thing different now is that I STILL love to eat,but also LOVE to exercsie. Exercise is my me time, my meditation time, my calm time when I know I am rewarding my body and mind for co-operating with all the abuse I put it through for so many years - being angry for the way I looked. I know I might be heavier than I possibly was at 22, but I'm way FITTER than have ever been. And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this feeling.

 

The reason I say this so much here is that I know my old self, where I used to find numerous reasons valid and empty for not giving my body its due. I used to hate it for being fat and ugly and embarassing. It took me child birth, two fractured feet and a baby to realise that things are far simpler than I percieve them to be. Far less complex that I imagine. Anyone reading this and has missed today's workout because you had some personal stress, work deadlines, a baby to manage, a husband to tend to, in-laws/ parents or body pain or whatever, let me tell you, whatever be the reason, you are not helping yourself. You deserve to exercise. You deserve to experience to joy of an adrenalin high. You deserve to know that your body is capable of crossing that finish line, lifting that 10kg plate, doing that yogasana, doing that extra lap in the pool, climbing that mountain, going on that trek, running behind your son/daughter as she first learns to pedal the cycle. Really, its a lot of fun to be fit! And that's coming from a person who only knew fat!

Weekend Update - resting, socialising and mental therapy!

The heading pretty much sums up the weekend for me. My I-dont-feel -too-good days last week were the result of the hormones at play. I took 4 full rest days, not bothering with exercise and by last night the guilt was just eating away my brains. Also my body seems to have settled so much with the idea of "exercise" that I find it is unable to cope without physical exhaustion! I was finding it so hard to fall asleep these last few days, that I lay awake much after the Scientist and Chittu had dozed off. But  I finished up reading "The Sea of Poppies, by Amitav Ghosh" and really loved the book.  The amount of research that must have gone into writing that book was phenomenal. It sounded so authentic and so real, it might not have been a story, after all!

 

Anyway, that apart, my mental fog has cleared up now, and the reason could be  a. that I sized up and did an 8k run this morning or b. that the monthly cycle is over. I really struggled this time, I don't know why!

 

Sunday morning was spent cooking an elaborate meal for some guests :) And Sunday evening was spent socialising with the Scientist's colleagues. I had enough leftovers to see me through the morning today, and less cooking on Monday morning, truly makes life simpler. Don't you think?

 

On the SBD front, I am doing pretty ok, I guess. I am not 100% abiding.  I took my tea with sugar, until this morning when I used splenda, and decided the tea was not palatable. I have stayed mostly grain free - rice & wheat included, except for yesterday's roti. Sugar made its way into my hot cocoa and also in a laddoo I ate. I have wavered a bit.Or may be more than a bit.  But I AM trying to stay as focussed as possible. It sure is hard to say NO to sugar when every cell in my body is demanding it! Its like an addiction I guess. But I am trying to fight it off! With exercise picking up again this week, I think the relatively stricter food habits will show good results. I am going to try to sustain this as long as I can. I know I will never have a perfect food day or a perfect body or a perfect anything. There will always remain something to be desired. But it sure is fun to get better everyday, right? I've long ago left the person behind who always sought out an all or nothing philosophy! Either I did it all or I did nothing. But now I'm aiming to find a mid ground and be more forgiving to myself when I don't be as perfect as I expect. I try to see the next minute as a new opportunity, when I need not gobble up all that candy we brought home from the US. Did anything I just said make any sense?

 

Phew! What a start to a Monday morning! One week to Diwali. What plans?

 

Saturday post - feeling low but sticking to SBD!

I usually don't post on Saturdays, but the last week I have been feeling a little blah! Some personal issues which make me really sad, have really been making the rounds and causing my system to be a little bogged down. Another reason is that PMS has played around with my mood. Also, I took the last three days off as I heeded the Scientist's advise to stay away from hard core exercise during my cycle. I have felt lately that I feel lost and dazed on days I don't exercise. I might be officially addicted to exercise!Who would have thought?

On the SBD (South Beach Diet) front, I did pretty good today, and my protein intake was finally up to the recommended level and calorie consumption was just 1500. I hope I can sustain this and see some good results by the end of two weeks.

Thanks to all those who left comments on my earlier post, for the support and prodding on. I am hoping I stay on track! I I feel more accountable now that more people are actually watching me. That sure is a positive side of blogging the numbers :)

Running in the rain? Not yet.But faster!

The weather in Bangalore today, makes me feel like curling up on a bay window, razai on to keep my feet warm, a steaming bowl of a spicy soup and a fine book in hand. Idealism. Sigh!

 

Realism was this: that I got out of bed by 5.30a.m found it so dark outside as if it were still 4 a.m.and rechecked my clock for the time. A run was scheduled today and running clothes were ready. I had to go. The 12.5k is dangling over my head and this is no time to slack off on work outs. So I got dressed and got out of the house, only to discover it was raining!!! I still can't think of running in the rain, so I went back home, grabbed my gym access card and whipped up a 5k on the treadmill in 41 minutes ( average speed about 8 minutes and 10 secs for a km) which is a whole minute and ten 10 seconds faster than my very first 5k on the treadmill! Progress :)

 

I returned home to make a healthy breakfast and lunch for the family and thus was my morning sans the warmth of my bed and book in hand! But life is what you make it, is it not? I have learnt that lesson the hard way. I know I must be happy for this moment, for today!

 

The month of October vanished with my weight holiding around the same as I started. Now that the mysore pak worry is addressed, we shall hopefully see lower numbers soon! The October round up and November goals is up next. So stay tuned? How was your October?

Super-fast weekend!

I guess thats what happens when you have a toddler who gives non stop entertainment and work. I was so not ready to face the week this morning.

 

Ever since we returned from our US vacation, we have been so caught up and busy. First we had to deal with the jet lag and cockroach infested home, then I did my first ever 10k event and then there was the BIL's weding! Sheesh! That's a lot of things, ain't it? I am really craving some down-time :)

 

Anyway the weekend started off with yoga class. One that I rushed to, but found the instructor talking about spirituality and related stuff. Don't get me wrong, its not that I dislike such discussions, just that I was so ready for an action packed class, that sitting and listening seemed too lame. The class was only for about 40 mins, but still, something is better than nothing, right?

 

Saturday was a fun day, as I headed out for a run. I spent almost all morning searching for the bike keys, and later found that I had left it in the bike! The watchman had noticed and retained it until I asked, by which time the sun was up and shining bright! I was angry at myself for my poor skills at being an organised person but still did a 5k as that brought up my weekly mileage to 20 kms. I could not run anymore than that either because it was too hot or because I was too tired!

 

Later in the day the Husband and I headed to a carnatic music concert by- Dr.Nithyasree Mahadevan. Her singing was splendid and it was a 2 hours very well spent. We came back home for lunch and stayed home the rest of the day.

 

On Sunday I awoke with a non-functioning fridge, maami on leave and in a whiny mood! I dashed out for dance class only to discover it had been cancelled! Ugh! I hate when that happens! Lunch tasted unusally sorry! But whatever, I got an afternoon nap. We were to attend a school friend's wedding reception yesterday night and my saree did not exactly co-operate with me.

 

When my alarm rang this morning, I mentally cancelled today's run. I am pmssing very very badly ( which is usually not the case) and was headachy and hot and basicallu very uncomfortable! I had to tell myself that I'll try and take this coming Friday off. Since Thursday is a holiday, I was just thinking a four-day weekend would be perfect for me.

 

October is alomost over! Only two months left of the year. I mean I remember January, then March and August! But where did the other months go?

Home- Bangalore or Chennai and a medley of thoughts!

As my flight touched down at Bangalore Airport last night, I felt my heart swell with that feeling you have when you return home. For a very long time, may be even now I wonder whether I belong to Madras ( now Chennai) or Bangalore. Being tamilian and having most relatives in Madras makes me have familial allegiance to the humid, coastal city which is now literally tattered under the metro construction. The december month shows Madras in resplendent beauty with every sabha and temple sporting kutcheris (musical performances), dance programmes and upanyasams ( spiritual discourses). The weather is at its quintessential best too, with the early mornings showing a relieving dip in the Mercury. The language is mother tongue for me and even though my ears twinge when I hear the school going kids talk in a seemingly harsh dialect, I cannot help but get lost the beautiful verses of Tamil slokams such as the Shiva Puranam, Thiruppavai and Kamakshi Viruttham. I have come of that age when I know that the dance and music education education I got back in my school going days is priceless because it opens up a whole new world of joy to me.

 

But then there is Bangalore, a city with pleasant weather almost round the year. A city where you can lace up and take a run in the open parks. The city with quite a good number of lakes within. A city which is relaxed. The city where I went to school and tasted academic success. The city where I wore my first chalangai (  dancing ghunguroos), the city I became a young woman in my first legal internship, the city I came to just married to my husband, the city where late night movies became so much more meaningful because I had a hand to hold while I watched, the city where I bought my own home in and the city where my baby is growing up. Really, I cannot decide which is home to me, whether I prefer the molagai bajji ( tamil -chilli bajji) or maddur vade (kannada-with no english translation).

 

But then again Madras reminds me of my thatha's old house with a couple of mango trees, neem trees, jackfruit tree and a flower garden that yielded red, yellow and white hibiscus flowers, the orange kanakambaram (that I came to dislike as an adult), the pink arali, the white thumba poo that is Ganesha's favourite and the violet shanku poo ( butterfly pea flower). Oh and the sacred Tulasi plant? I can live in that old, cracked and vast house within my mind. My memories of those are crystal clear.

 

How can I decide the city to which I belong? My heart is divided.

 

But coming back to why I started this post - last night when my plane touched down at Bangalore, it was the surety that I was going to my home. It was pouring and the chillness in the air was welcome from the uncanny Madras heat. I was travelling alone and bought myself a subway sandwich. There was no hurry. I could go home at my ease. Nobody was waiting. I ate my sandwich slowly, told myself that chocolate chip cookie was not exactly what my body needed and patted myself for having stayed away from the inviting aromas of the Cookie Man counter at the Chennai airport.

 

This morning, I woke up in an empty home. I went for my run and came back and stretched ( a luxury - because i usually have to come back and prepare for rush hour :). Yesterday, there was a battle raging in my mind on some personal issues. I guess the 7k-run let out all the negative energy. My mind is relatively peaceful, and I guess that is where is home!

 

Friday post - body pain, upcoming long runs & the great Indian wedding!!

Friday again? Ah! My body was begging to give a break from working out this morning. I am seriously considering taking a massage once a month as a reward to all that I put my body through. Ever since I started combining my runs with body pump classes, I find that my legs hurt A LOT. Especially when I have just got into bed at night, I feel as if I have some creepy crawlies creeping through my feet (soles)- calves- thighs. There have been many many nights that I  have been unable to fall asleep because of this extreme discomfort in my legs. The Scientist says its lactic acid build up. Whatever!! I guess this is how muscles will react when they have been awoken from a life long slumber :) But I try to use some Ayurvedic oils which quickly give me relief. Otherwise, the kindly Scientist helps by pressing my legs! I told you I am lucky in that department.

 

So I stayed away from exercise today, but am now considering doing the evening power yoga class, before I hop on to the train for the weekend in Chennai. There is a family wedding next week, and some related rituals this weekend. There will be no exercise per se fro the next two days, because the mornings are going to get taken in rituals and in Chennai, and its kind of hard to exercise during any other time of the day. Yes I'd love to run along the beach, but that's another story!As a precursor, I will be doing this 10k run in early December in Chennai.

 

This weekend will therefore be family time and I plan to make a come back long run on Monday morning, because, I am pretty serious about the 12.5k I am scheduled to run at the Bangalore Ultra. I will be going back to Chennai again on Tuesday for the main wedding and reception. My sarees are lined up and so is my jewelry, and I have discovered that other thing I can look forward to in the wedding other than food! I will consciously try to stay away from indulging in every meal, and will save my calories for something I find totally exotic. I am an expert at making plans, you see and even better at non-adherence. I will leave it at that.

I guess thats all for now. All I can think of is the wedding and the fresh romance of the newly weds. It brings back many a sweet memory to me, although there is a great sorrowful story that shrouds my own wedding. That's a different story though and I cannot share it here! But life goes on, and an optimist will stay happy. Don't you think?





 

The weekend, some thoughts and a good run!

When the alarm rang this morning, at 5a.m I lay my head on the Scientist's shoulder and wondered why every weekend zips by so fast. Even if I did NOTHING. So that was pretty much this weekend for me. It all started when I bunked yoga/ spinning class on Friday to just be home and finish up some long pending work. And then it was Saturday morning and we stayed in bed till 8 that is until the maid rang the bell. We woke up, lazed around while we had tea, then mulled over the newspapers, worried about the effect of the kaveri issue and whether life in Bangalore would come to a halt and basically potered around the house doing nothing. Then when I decided I would not hit the gym, I settled for somne yoga on my mat. Little chittu joined in learning to do suryanamaskars and insisted he wanted the yoga mat as well. We tried to get him out of the way using his new cycle as a distraction, but he was quite intent about riding the cycle on the mat as well! Finally we got Maami to deal with him, while I stretched my fatigued muscles into bow, butterfly, serpent and warrior poses.

Lunch was an elaborate affair cooked with love and oil - specially for the Scientist because I ruined his birthday meal.(Sidenote: Am I not the perfect wife? ) And then belly full, we tried to catch some afternoon winks. Then there was chai to be prepared and then dinner! And just to reinforce, I am not a cook my profession, but a lawyer. The only reason I took to cooking is that I cannot find healthy, wholesome and lowcalorie food at the restaurants!

Sunday was identical with the exception of my waking up early, fixing breakfast and rushing to dance-class in an auto in the pouring rain. But what a bummer- no class!!! Ugh! So I took a BMTC bus back home, riding back on an old route in a new city with changed bus stop names. I got a ride that reignited old memories and younger days for just Rs.9. I would like my son to be able to do the same too. See that life is not all about air-conditioned cars and carpeted floors.

After dinner, the fact that we had gone more than two weeks without a meal outside just caught up with me. I asked the Sientist if we could go out for coffee, because the weather was wet and cold and just perfect for coffee. When we hit the mall, I saw a board for frozen yogurt and my heart did a little tango. But the serving size was so miniscule, it did not even let me take a guilt ride for the indulgence!

After carbo loading all weekend, I figured the best thing would be to head out for an early morning run. It was a superb 7 km run. Superb because I simply breezed through about 5k. I found my pace and tempo and just kept running. It was the best feeling in the world. But I am inclined to think that it was so good bacause I was well fed and well rested and my body and mind were so ready for it this morning. It was a glorious run and the endorphins are still pumping! I AM going to do the Bangalore Ultra - 12.5 km race. Thats 2.5 more than the KTM 10k, and I will get to the venue on time. (oh that reminds of another rant - but thats for anotehr post!) So any others want to run with me?

 

 

 

A little pride, a little joy and a little sad - Hi! on Monday

So, its Monday again and back to the grind of being a superwoman - aren't  we all? Managing work, home, baby/toddler, husband, in-laws, upcoming family events like a wedding, festival cooking, healthy cooking, grocery shopping and weight loss - with two legs, two hands and one brain? Sometimes I am so proud of myself.

My weekend this time was a combination of all of the above. I helped the husband design the wedding invite for the upcoming BIL's wedding, home cooked all meals this weekend, paid bills, went grocery shopping, played with Chittu, went for a 5k run, took a spinning class and even lost a teensy bit of the USA weight!

So yes. I am like that - sometimes feeling so proud of the million things I try to accomplish and sometimes want to throw myself in the garbage dumpster for being unable to control myself around sugary food.

In other news, we are on a super tight budget norms thanks to wedding shopping, the many dollars we blew up in the USA and may be an upcoming home renovation project! (finers crossed* fingers crossed* And Oh God, please please do not jinx this for us!). But there is the Scientist's birthday on Wednesday for which I have a simple yet special/fun plan (even though its a week day), but that can be executed ONLY if the Scientist does not scoot off for an official meeting at 5a.m.!! Speaking of birthdays, sometimes it  makes me think of death, and how closer we are getting to it, atleast mathematically! Sorry for sounding morose. But I just had to say it. Despite my dark thoughts, a birthday is still a special day for me and even though we are not big into the cake celebrations and all, I would still treat it as a happy day.

 

Ok ok. I guess I will have to stop my Bhaashan here, before I get fired for blogging in official hours. But hell I also do work during non-official hours. So I guess that makes up for it!

 

I have been updating my weigh-in page regularly as also my workout schedule. And I have also logged in my food on spark people ( as sugarsweetsmile for those who care). So I am working at it again! I'm off to drink my midmorning snack- buttermilk power!!!!

 

Lots of love!

 

On this morning - thoughts, things and a fear!

My alarm rang at 5 a.m this morning, like it does on every weekday morning. It basically means that if I do wake up at that ungodly hour, I will be able to sneak out to the gym/ finish my workout before the toddler awakes, come back in time to cook a decent breakfast and pack a healthy lunch for the Scientist, have some laptop time, some Chittu time, some newspaper time and also time for a longish shower if I'm in the mood.

 

I do wake up at that hour most days just so that I can reap the benefit of having a productive morning. But there certainly are days like today where I turn of the alarm, cuddle up next to the Scientist and wake up an hour later, almost always feeling terrible about it. While I don't mind compromising other things, I like to have have my workout s done and over with in the morning.

 

So after the Scientist left to work, I got dressed in tracks and went to the gym.

 

Random thoughts that crossed my mind as I stamped away 430 calories on the RFX:

 

• Gosh, I hate the crowded gym. I should come in early so that I can get the machine of choice without having to wait.
• One day of eating refined carbohydrate showed a weight gain of 1 kg. Overnight! Like how?????
• And therefore this: I must have eaten rice almost every single day of my 28 years on this earth. Then why-oh-why can I not stay away from it, especially when it shows me so much negative love on the scale?
• God! That woman there looks so much thinner now than when I last saw her! (which was more than a month ago.. and I know she is a gym regular.. the hard work is showing!)
• Should I engage a personal trainer? It costs me about Rs.6000/- a month! Gulp! Yes, dearies, INR 6000! Or I should I but a book like the fit female body breakthrough or the New Rules of Weight Lifting for women? Weight training really did wonders to my body!
• Ok today I will stay away from the refined carbs. I must get on with this weight loss thing. Or how about phase 1 SBD? Its painful, but it works! Maybe I should. How about from Sunday?
• Am I the fattest here today? Oh look at her? Am I fatter than her? Umm.. i don't know!
• But I'm fit. Look at me, everybody, this fat girl is going to run a 10 k tomorrow!
• But I don't look so fat ya..Or is this a kind mirror? May be my bones are heavy? Right?
• Wow this exercise makes my body feel so good!!!I must fit in more exercise. What good is 30 mins?
• And stretching.. wow that knee pain from the 7k is almost gone. And my joints feel so well oiled!

Sorry.. I know these were just random. But its true. I love my gym time. I know, I know I say it too often. But its good yo.. really good.

 

And one final thought as I was parking my bike at home:

 

Am I going to die fat? I realy wish I wouldn't!

After long, a post with pictures!

Ah! Glorious weekend, I extend the warmest ever welcome to you. Seriously, I was craving a weekend on Tuesday itself!

This week was a hectic one in terms of official tension, personal stress, visitors and also my health. I  realised that I had alscked off the medication, since I found that I was feeling better, and therefore was slid back into bad health. I am continuing the prescription meds and am feeling better.

Right now, I am simply going to focus on staying fit and not gaining weight if possible. I find myself resorting to sugary foods in times of stress and do have to work on that.

Meanwhile I will leave you with some picture we took at a dinner outside recently. The place was the Higher Taste, at ISKCON temple, Bangalore, and I fell in love. Besides missing the Scientist throughly, I've made a mental note that we shall go back there again!

Chittu and me 

ISKCON TEMPLE - where my love affair with Krishna began!

Worlds softest Rasagullas topped with mango puree...Hmmm...Yummm!

Paan Icecream. Indigenous flavours!