Friday, March 8, 2013

Comparing with other women - feel good or feel bad?

Last evening I visited a neighbor who has just given birth to their second child. It has been under a month and I think she may have lost almost all her pregnancy weight. Can I admit I was immediately so jealous of her. I mean - look at me - here I am who gained nearly 20 kgs of weight during pregnancy and post partum, broke my feet and lost control of life. I had to wake up and work my ass off (literally) to lose the weight! I am still struggling to get to a normal weight - even after calorie counting and fairly regular exercise. I was ASHAMED. I felt like a loser. Hell, I am a LOSER. I really felt awful for the way I am. And this went beyond my body image. I found myself losing confidence and the little respect I managed to build up for myself. I was a mess. Ofcourse I complimented her and came back home and told the husband all about it.

Thankfully I had the mind to eat my planned dinner of two chappatis, chole and curd. I made myself a cup of hot chocolate before we went to bed and woke up without an alarm. I think even though I am really mad at myself for having spent most of my adult life pretty obsessed about food, I am working on setting that right. Yes I do indulge in a creamy dessert once in a while. But I am working onfixing my totally warped relationship with food.

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Sweet Friday. Even though I aim for a yoga class, I have been missing evening classes and so hit the gym early this morning:

I got 30 minutes on the arc trainer and 0.8 kms on the treadmill before my shoe laces came off. I had intended to run a mile. While I stopped the treadmill to tie them up and pressed restart, the machine refused. I hopped off and held some planks, attempted halasana and badhakonasana. I love me some unhurried gym time.
 Hope to get some long runs over the weekend, lets see :)

So do you guys compare yourself to others? Do you think its healthy?

2 comments:

  1. Sugar, yes I do compare myself with my super thin sister, its okay to compare and you know the limit :-), Dont be harsh on yourself. You are fit, you should be proud of you ( i know you are ),the 10Km marathon for example, I can now only dream of it..Hope this makes you feel better... That I am super J on the kind of fitness you have attained so far.

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  2. I think its only human to compare yourself with others! I do it even with my sister-(she didn't get any stretch marks-then how come I did)but to love yourself unconditionally is something I too am working on! You're a winner and a Hero in your own life -Sugar-no one else knows what your journey is all about-cos they've not walked it for you!

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Yes. I Know you are thinking something. Please say it! Every word keeps me going!