I have admitted that weight loss is an obsession. Its important to be conscious of what I eat, drink and do every waking minute. Like for example, keep my water bottle near me, and remember take frequent sips. I plan ahead what I am going to eat. I think about what I can cook as I am veggie shopping. I remember to soak the beans. I also remember to take the steps. Its now easy for me to refuse juice. I know I don’t need that sugar. I consciously walk past he pav bhaji wallah. I don’t buy biscuits from the bakery. And cream biscuits. I have totally forgotten about them too. I don’t go to the sweet shop any more. Even to buy stuff for friends/ relatives. I instead go to the store where I buy the best fruits. Albeit expensive. So it has been a long and painstaking journey to the loss of all my pregnancy weight. I’m now left with all the adipose that were a part of my body since very, very long. And believe me when I say, it is becoming very difficult to lose that weight. Sometimes, like last night, I want to cry. I am working very hard on this. I know I need to and I certainly want to complete this journey once and for all. This time, just for myself.
These are my thoughts :
· I am very happy about how far I have come – physically and mentally. It’s almost discouraging to know to know that I have almost an equal distance to go.
· What should I do to get out of this plateau and go back to moving downward?
· After reading, I thought weight training was the answer. But that does not seem to be working.
· Should I add an evening workout? Something as small as walk after dinner? Or taking Chittu to the park? Some days I am totally out of steam by the time I go home from work. And then I also need to figure out dinner. Or may be its possible? It’s all in the head, no?
· Am I eating more? Possibly. Once I joined the gym, my work outs became more rigorous. My energy levels dipped when I did not eat. I could not wake up in the mornings. So I added back fruit and white rice, some times brown bread even. May be the white rice is my enemy?
· My calorie intake still ranges between 1200-1500. My work outs are intense. Then should I not be losing weight?
· Oh!!! The stomach ulcers that were acting up. May be that lead me to eating more?
· Am I using too much oil in my cooking? I don’t think so. My cooking usually does not have oil floating on it or leave me with greasy fingers. I still wonder!
· I am working on more water consumption. I heard that fat comes out of the body as pee.
· How much longer is this going to take me? My goal was to reach 67 kgs in August this year.
· There are some people who lost 40 kgs in year! What did they do/eat?
These are my thoughts. Transparent. I want to cry. But more than that, I want to get ahead.