Introspections- that person could have been me!

Last night the Scientist and I were seeing some pictures on Facebook of the Scientist's cousin. The said Cousin, much older to me, also went through pregnancy and childbirth during roughly the same time as me. She was overweight/obese from the time I knew her. She had an IVF/assisted conception and was advised bed rest during the pregnancy. She carried twins. She also had gestational diabetes. Two years after her children's birth, she may be at her all time high weight. I'm not being mean, but I totally sympathise with her. The only thing I was able to notice about the pictures was that she had become HUGE!

While I was also overweight at the time I conceived, I had no issues with conception. Neither were there any complications during my pregnancy, though it ended with a dual fracture of both feet. I weighed about 82 kgs at the start of pregnancy, 100 kilos at the end of pregnancy and reached a high weight of 100.7 kg when I finally decided to end obesity, 6 months after Chittu's birth. For the record, I did not have gestational diabetes, and ate freely, thinking I was licensed to do so.

At this stage in my weight loss journey, after losing nearly 23 kilos and gaining so much lost confidence, and being far more fit than I ever was in my life, I totally salute that person in me, who decided to take on this journey, one last time. I have not reached my goal weight yet. But yes, I certainly have a sense of perspective of what works for me and what does not. I know and have learnt the hard way that weight loss is not easy. It is mighty hard. It needs quite a bit of grit and determination. No matter what I do the slice of death by chocolate cake always looks enticing. The pizza looks ever so delicious and the sweets behind the counter of the sweet shop call out my name every single evening on my way home from office. Some days, I tell myself I don't need that much sugar. Some days, I don't want to mess up after being good so long. Some days when the sweets/cake/pizza land in my home, I quitely succumb to temptation after fighting a long battle of Should I/ should not I in my mind.

I promise I am not bragging. But I do recognise this long journey is one with a medley of perfect days, imperfect days and totally out of focus days. As I get closer to goal weight it is getting harder to shed the pounds. I am pushing some limits.

But when I saw those pictures last night, I realised that person in those pictures could have so easily been me. So even though I had a strong craving for ice cream, I made myself a cup of hot cocoa. And while I sipped it, I silently thanked everyone and everything that has enabled me to come this far.