Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Speaking my mind

Last night, after eating my dinner, I was on the verge of tears. This weight loss thing has been getting to me. I have been holding around 79.5 for a LONG time now, atleast two months, since I got back from the US. I did touch the 78s early on in October. But I have come back to the 79s again. Yes I admit I went through a phase of mid-night mysore pak eating. But that lasted a week or so and I have been working out pretty hard. I dont even expect to lose a pound a week. But I was hoping that I'be back to my pre-US weight (around 77) in atleast two months.
 
I fished out my old tracking diary and saw that I am around the same weight I was in June. Four months later, I am in the same stage (ofcourse I gained 4 and lost 2) and I feel so so bad about myself.  I had a personal trainer in June, stuck to around 1500 calories per day and did see the scale move down. I might be doing a similar thing this month too, and even though I vowed to do go back to Phase 1 SBD, I figured that at 1 meal in a day is not exactly SBD compliant. My main fear is that I would not want to faint or pass out during the 12.5 k on Sunday. The other reason is that I continue to eat healthy though I take about half a cup of white rice at my meal or a couple of idlis or broken wheat and such stuff. I don't think that is bad per se. And sparkpeople shows me a lower car consumption than before. I guess I will just have to be consistent and see if there is any progress.
 
The Scientist alsosuggested that I get my thyroid checked to ensure that there is no other obstacle that is making it hard for me. I will do that soon too. Meanwhile, I want to just close my eyes and be 12 kgs lighter when I open them.
 
I know I have to swallow the pill of patience and just keep at what I am doing. Ofcourse, I continue to marvel at my body's ability to run even at this weight. I'm terribly sorry about the ranty post. I just had to tell you guys two things. Firstly that my SBD attempt is only partial and Second that I am so so surprised by how difficult it has actually become to get rid of this weight!
 

12 comments:

  1. I had just finished reading this post, before I read yours http://weightlossandcorinne.com/2012/11/06/weight-loss/.
    I thought this is perfect for you.

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    1. sugar, I know how that feels, but do not lose hope, you have lost so much weight in the first place , give yourself a pat on your back, you are an inspiration to all the followers of your blog and me too, so just take a day off, have fun with the scientist and little Chittu and work hard from tomorrow, you have come so far, don't lose hope now!! Try try try again till you succeed is one of the first proverbs we learnt isn't it?
      Ps...no crying ok:)

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    2. thanks for the support, my3:)

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    3. thanks PK! just what I needed!

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  2. Huh sugar!! I dont think you need to much worry for the way doing rite now.sometimes we wud reached WL palteau which takes sometime to drop..Keep going!!we are here just to follow ur steps :)

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    1. Oh my :) that IS a huge responsibility!

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  3. Don't worry Sugar, Whoever is in this long weightloss journey face this phase often.This phase won't last longer. Keep practicing all your weight loss learning from past ..

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    1. thanks smith :)

      your support is appreciated. That is what I plan to do - just keep going. time will tell :)

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  4. You are my idol lady. Please dont feel low. Best wishes with you. Be proud of your achievements, we all are...!! Go out and pamper yourself. You trulu deserve it. loads of love...

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    1. thanks for the encouraging words, Smita. I shall remember them :)

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  5. Sugar
    You spoke my mind and my feelings in this post. ::(
    I am exactly in ur state. I was at my current weight 6 months back and I gained it back. I have lost and gained the same 4 lbs. I do have moments when I feel all these efforts for exercise, calorie tracking and no results. But the thing is, I have hypothyroidism(under active thyroid). And with that it gets very very difficult to loose weight.Like u mentioned in your post, just get your thyroid checked. Also, I have noticed that stress causes lotttt of weight gain. I lost 2 lbs in 1 week when I went on vacation. ::))
    So somehow, we have to manage stress....tough ..but have to.
    Take care and I am sure you will reach your goal.

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    1. yes I should get the thyroid checked!stress, i am learning to handle. And all my running and yoga and weights does help combat the stress. Lets see this seems to be a very slow journey!

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Yes. I Know you are thinking something. Please say it! Every word keeps me going!