I can choose to rant about how my weight climbed from 76.8 to 79.5 (this morning) despite a week of sticking to calorie limit and dedicated work outs . But I decided not to. As much I feel betrayed by the inexplicable weight gain (Its one thing to plateau - and another thing to see weight gain), I know better than to throw in the towel and eat a bagful of the US candy that's still sitting in my bedroom!
When the alarm rang at 5.15 this morning, my body was hurting. I usually am ready to get out of bed and get done with my work out. There are days when I sleep for an extra 15 minutes and modify the workout to suit the day's schedule. But there are days like today when I feel my bones are hurting(they're not, by the way) and that I'm justified to sleep in.
Yes of course, before half the day is gone by, I begin to wonder if I can squish in an evening work out. What about RPM (spinning class), I think? But oh, there's body pump tomorrow morning and I won't be able to recover from the muscle fatigue! Hmm, just half hour on the elliptical then?
Then I remember Chittu's face. He asks - Amma, where are you going? I tell him, the gym. He responds with either a - Please don't go or I will come to the gym too! Honestly, my heart melts. I hate to leave him behind with Maami for another hour that I will be gone. I feel guilty. I feel like I am doing enough enough for my child. I feel selfish. I feel I'm not being as good a mother as my mom was for me.
I wonder if we can go to the park. But I want to walk/ run. And anyway, I will have to leave him to play with Maami. I hate it when I have overslept and missed my workout!
It's usually this emotional battle I try to avert when I wake up to leave home for a run, before the sun is out. Even on body pump days I have left home before Chittu wakes up and console myself that I will spend the whole evening with him! It is for this reason, that I feed him dinner at the very least and make his breakfast. I don't know if my son is going to hold me guilty of running away to work and the gym leaving him back.
You can find Part1 of Working out while being a mom here.