Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Working out while being a Mom - part 2!

I can choose to rant about how my weight climbed from 76.8 to 79.5 (this morning) despite a week of sticking to calorie limit and dedicated work outs . But I decided not to. As much I feel betrayed by the inexplicable weight gain (Its one thing to plateau - and another thing to see weight gain), I know better than to throw in the towel and eat a bagful of the US candy that's still sitting in my bedroom!
When the alarm rang at 5.15 this morning, my body was hurting. I usually am ready to get out of bed and get done with my work out. There are days when I sleep for an extra 15 minutes and modify the workout to suit the day's schedule. But there are days like today when I feel my bones are hurting(they're not, by the way) and that I'm justified to sleep in.
Yes of course, before half the day is gone by, I begin to wonder if I can squish in an evening work out. What about RPM (spinning class), I think? But oh, there's body pump tomorrow morning and I won't be able to recover from the muscle fatigue! Hmm, just half hour on the elliptical then?
Then I remember Chittu's face. He asks - Amma, where are you going? I tell him, the gym. He responds with either a - Please don't go or I will come to the gym too! Honestly, my heart melts. I hate to leave him behind with Maami for another hour that I will be gone. I feel guilty. I feel like I am doing enough enough for my child. I feel selfish. I feel I'm not being as good a mother as my mom was for me.
I wonder if we can go to the park. But I want to walk/ run. And anyway, I will have to leave him to play with Maami. I hate it when I have overslept and missed my workout!
It's usually this emotional battle I try to avert when I wake up to leave home for a run, before the sun is out. Even on body pump days I have left home before Chittu wakes up and console myself that I will spend the whole evening with him! It is for this reason, that I feed him dinner at the very least and make his breakfast. I don't know if my son is going to hold me guilty of running away to work and the gym leaving him back.
But one thing I surely do not want to do is stay a fat  unfit mom. I want to be able to play catch with him. I want to be able to teach him to ride the cycle. I want to be able to trek with him and walk and climb and run, even. I don't want to be breathless. I don't want to feel tired and fat and unworthy. And so I wake up before the alarm rings on most days of the week. On those days like today, I will try to convince my conscience that I am not a bad mom -I'm just fitness obsessed, I guess :)

You can find Part1 of  Working out while being a mom here.


  1. Sugar...This post brought tears in my eys...literally.I am exactly in the same position as you.I am not a big fan of working out in the evening as I hate leaving Bunny(my son) for an additional hour again. But mornings I am unable to wake up everyday.
    HAts off to have been waking up mornings to finish off your workout..keep up the good work girl.
    Also..did u get your thyroid checkup?
    I have apost coming up regarding hypothyrpidism..

    1. :) yea. Managing a job, a baby, family and fitness is hard enough in India! I can imagine how hard it must be for you. But yes that why I wake up early!
      Yes I did get thyrois tested. The reults came out just fine :)

  2. my sentiments exactly. I feel guilty enough for dropping chinu in a daycare and going to work, then taking half an hour more to workout is too much. That's why even i try to go when she is sleeping either morning or night.

    1. totally!!thats one major reason I have a house help!

  3. Totally agree on the last part of your post! I can't relate much to the first part as I dont have a kid yet, but I'm sure it must be tough as hell!
    And I so much agree with "I surely do not want to do is stay a fat unfit mom." Thats the reason I'm trying to soo hard to get fit before having a kid!


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