I wanted to share this with you guys:
A small recap of my story so far.
I have always been overweight!! Atleast that's what I think. The scales tipped at 100 kgs after I had my son after enduring dual fractures on both legs and ac-section delivery. My morale was in the dumps. I hated myself. My main thought was when I was myself so dependent on others, then how would I be able to handle a baby.
Everyone I saw commented about my weight gain, sympathised with me on the fractures and basically wrote me off. But something else clicked. I was finally ready to do what it takes to lose weight. I first bought a home elliptical and started with 15 minutes on it. I watched the food I ate and reduced the sugary biscuits I had been eating. Then I read about South Beach Diet and tried the vegetarian version of it. The weight literally began to fall of. I discovered that my body responds extremely well to cutting out rice. Soon I was exercising on the elliptical for more than 45 minutes a day. I joined back work a year after having Chittu. People in office were stunned at my weight loss. That motivated me to push even more.
The Scientist encouraged me to join the gym. I did. I used the cardio section, the weights section, did group classes and even hired a personal trainer for a short while. I mustered the courage to run on the treadmill and slowly ventured into outdoor running. I felt great. I did a couple of running events in 2012 and am officially hooked on running. Running makes me feel normal, like my body is using all my joints. Honestly I feel just too good, physically.
Yes I don't exercise when I travel on personal work. There are days when I chose to just bunk the gym. There are times when I go to a wedding and eat like there is no tomorrow.
But most days, I have a tab on the calories I am ingesting. I consciously take the stairs. I try to walk a bit faster. I reduce the sugar I add to my chai. I almost dont eat biscuits anymore except the ocassional marie. I don't find myself stealing food in my own home. I don't eat teaspoonfuls of jam. I can handle the knowledge that a box in bedroom has plenty of candy sitting in it. The cheese in fridge is used only when I need to. I don't eat it because I am bored. We almost don't eat any processed food. Did you hear that? Yes no maggi, or lays chips or kurkure or doughnuts. As a family we eat healthy and I include the toddler in it too. I make tasty soups for dinner. I am usually well stocked with fruit, milk,yogurt and lentils of different varieties. Yes we have changed. And I say we.
I still need to lose 10 kgs to get into the "normal weight" category. My butt feels way to big. But I am trying my best. There are days like yesterday, I felt so self conscious walking to the gym in my figure hugging lycras. I felt like everybody was staring at me, though I can safely bet that not even one person did. At the gym, I felt so fat and unfashionable. I usually wear a bindi even with western clothes. Yes I have my off days.
But I have days, when I wake up early to cook, fix breakfast,pack lunch, the toddlers snack, drop him off at school, walk to office, get work done and go home in the evening to a cheerful baby and ofcourse there is dinner to be taken care of and sometimes a workout even. I try to do most things I want to every day. There are days I skip saying my prayers or the kolam in front of God or ask Maami to cook lunch. There are days when I am unreasonable rude to the Scientist. Yet I found that no day will be perfect though its best never to stop yearning to have that perfect day.
So its ok if you had pizza for dinner yeaterday or a cookie this morning. Its really alright if you did not make it to the gym. Just try to do it and one day you will. The process is joyful, let me assure you.
PS: I don't think I am God. But I love to write, you see :)